


Tension Has Had Us All This Time

by ellebelle



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, hopefully, liam and harry hate each other, that fall in love, they're mortal enemies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-16
Updated: 2013-02-16
Packaged: 2017-11-29 11:05:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/686240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellebelle/pseuds/ellebelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the truth is, harry's ridiculously insecure. he shouldn't be, but he is.</p><p>liam doesn't get it. he just doesn't. he's never really had a lot of friends, and he's definitely never had friends like this. they're so… so…. so <i>much</i>. and he thought that if he just kept <i>trying</i> that it would get easier, but it hasn't. it's gotten worse and now harry obviously hates him and it's not fair.</p><p> </p><p>or the one where liam and harry hate each other with a violent bleeding passion. until they don't anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tension Has Had Us All This Time

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing except the laptop this was written on. If lots of angst and a terrible overuse of italics and an overuse of the word 'and' is offensive to you, please don't read this. 
> 
> Also. If you know anyone who's tagged in the list of characters, or you know someone who knows someone that's tagged in the characters. Or like - your boyfriend's cousin's ex-fiance's uncle's wife knows someone tagged in the characters you should probably not read this. 
> 
> No harm is meant by this story. I promise it didn't happen. The boys are all pretty and straight and kind and love each other. I'm just not creative enough to write a story that doesn't revolve around real-life characters. Sozzzz. 
> 
> Title is from 'Tension' by Avenged Sevenfold, yo. 
> 
> Anyway. Get reading, kiddies!

when one direction becomes one direction, harry is drawn to louis. it’s intense and immediate, not sexual in the slightest, but passionate none the less. they're best friends, immediately, and harry's never been so close to anyone in his entire life. it's the only thing, in the sudden craziness of his life, that makes sense. that feels like home. 

harry's close to niall, too, because it's nearly impossible to know the irish and not fall a little bit in love with him. like, literally impossible. it's something about the big blue eyes and bright smile and the fact that niall radiates happiness. it's like - one of the best thing in harry's entire life. 

meshing with zayn isn't quite as simple. they have similarities - they were both popular and well liked, successful with girls. it takes a while for zayn to adjust to the fact that harry likes to touch, even if they're just talking harry wants to have a hand on his arm or their thighs touching, if they're sitting. it's just a thing that niall and louis didn't mind, but that zayn took a while to warm up to. it takes harry weeks to understand that zayn isn't cold, he's just protective of himself. he doesn't dislike harry, isn't avoiding him, but likes to be alone sometimes, appreciates the quiet. he's _overwhelmed_ by the force that is harry styles. 

it's different with liam. there should be things that they bond over. they're both immensely talented, the baby of the family to older sisters. they both read harry potter when they're missing home, and they both love to lay upside down on the couch. there are a million things, really, silly and stupid ones, but also things that they could _really_ bond over. and it's not that harry isn't trying, because he's trying so desperately hard, and liam tries, too, but they just don't click. no matter how hard either of them try. 

~

'you don't understand.' louis says one day, when they've finished x-factor and are living in london together.'he hasn't lived the same kind of life as you have.'

'i know that.' harry mutters, body tensing. 

'haz, i'm not saying it's your fault.' louis murmurs. he's running his fingers through harry's hair. 'but you've lived a really good life, harry.'

'i know.' harry sighs into louis' thigh. and he has, particularly as far as the other lads know. his mum married robin and robin is _wealthy_. harry's been given everything he's ever wanted, really. he was in a band, in high school, and the 'it' boy. he had girls, even back then, pursuing him and he could get anything he wanted by flashing those dimples. 

'it's just - have you ever really talked to him about it?'

'what do you mean?'

'i think…' louis is obviously choosing his words carefully. 'he's a bit intimidated by you.'

'that's crazy!' harry blurts out. 'that doesn't even make sense. zayn's the scary one! and danielle! and he doesn't have any problem talking to them.'

'well he _did_.' louis says. 'it took him even longer than it took you to get close to zayn. and he'd never have talked to danielle if you hadn't put it out there for him.'

harry remembers that vividly, and though it had turned out alright in the end, liam hadn't spoken to him for _days_ after it had happened. 

'i don't understand.' harry whines. 

'liam's just - he's very mature.' louis finally says. 

'i'm mature!' 

'seriously? you made me go to the store and buy you chocolate milk this morning because we were out.'

'i just - i like it.' harry pouts. 

'harry, it's not a bad thing.' louis says, softly. 'i love you like this, you know? but liam grew up very young, and you're _still_ growing up. there's nothing wrong with that, it's just different from him is all.'

harry nods. 'but he still doesn't like me.'

'he likes you, harry, don't be ridiculous.' 

'he doesn't.'

and the truth is, harry's ridiculously insecure. he shouldn't be, but he is. it's like the whole twitter thing. he's terrified that the people in his life will realize how utterly useless he is and leave him. it's not something he's ever said, not something he'll ever say. he keeps it bottled up and locked deep inside where no one will see it. 

but the idea that liam might not like him is excruciating. 

'has? you alright?' louis asks, stroking his hair. 

'fine.' harry murmurs. 'i'm fine.'

louis bends over and presses a kiss to harry's hair, and they both snuggle into the couch. 

~

scott - who is basically the entirety of 'management' - sits all the boys down the first time they meet and asks them if there was anything he should know. the boys just sort of stare at him, unsure, and he rolls his eyes at their naivety. 

'is there anything from your past or your present or what you can see of your future that could be in any way relevant to the success of your band?'

'oh.' harry murmurs. 'i mean, like, how detailed are we getting?'

'what do you think might come out?'

'me?'

the boys all sort of laugh, and when harry's face falls, they settle immediately. 

'seriously, haz? that's great!' louis claps him on the back. 'proud of you, mate.'

they all smile, encouragingly, except liam, and that hurts more than anything. 

'i got a girl pregnant once.' zayn blushes, stares at his toes. 'she miscarried. it was like - it sucked. and sometimes i smoke weed, but i mean, like - i haven't in ages.'

'me, too.' louis agrees. 'the weed thing, not the pregnant. and i mean - there might be pictures of me from college kissing boys at parties. it's not like a thing, it was just… a phase?'

'one time i got arrested.' niall's cheels stain bright red. 'i mean - i got let go and it was cleared, but i punched a guy. in the face. but he deserved it! he hit a girl first!'

'i haven't done anything.' liam crosses his arms over his chest, defiantly. 

'of course you haven't.' harry mutters. 'perfect little liam.'

'what was that, harry?' liam asks, leaning forward to look at him. 

'nothing.' harry shrugs. 'didn't say anything.'

liam rolls his eyes and looks angry. 

it's not that harry doesn't like liam, he does. he just doesn't understand why liam is so fucking perfect all the time. of _course_ he hasn't done anything to jeopardize the band. of _course_ he doesn't have any dirty secrets. of _course_ he's lived the life of a saint. 

'i mean, i just have the health history, really.' liam directs at scott. 'thats's it. so can i like… go?'

'yeah, liam, you're free.' scott agrees. 'if you think of anything else, please call me. it's better to take the offensive than the defensive and all that.'

'of course.' liam stands. 

zayn grabs his hand. 'wait for me?'

'i've got plans with dani.' liam shrugs. 'sorry mate, ill call you later.'

when liam is gone, everyone turns to look at harry. 

'what?' he asks, eyes wide. 

'haz, that was uncalled for.' niall says, shaking his head. 

'you were kind of an arse.' zayn agrees. 

'i'm a bit disappointed, mate.' louis agrees. 'i don't understand why you pick at him.'

'i don't!' harry says, defense rising. 'i don't pick at him.'

'you do.' zayn says. 'you're terrible to him sometimes.'

'look.' scott interrupts. 'i've got to figure out how we're going to deal with what i've learned today. you -' he points at harry 'you are going to stop whatever bitch fit you're throwing. it's unbecoming.'

'i didn't - '

'silence.' scott says. 'get out of my office. we'll meet again next week.'

harry is up and out the door immediately, not waiting for the others. he rushes past paul and past the waiting car. there aren't any fans here this early in the morning, and the streets are clear, so he starts the walk home. he _knows_ in his mind that it's too far to go, but he'll get as far as he can - as far _away_ as he can - and call a car or ed or cazza. 

~

liam walks out of scott's office and stops when he gets to the front door and paul just sort of stares at him. 

'i'm leaving.' liam sort of shrugs. 

'how're you getting home?'

'i'll walk.'

'you can't walk, liam.'

'yeah, i'll call a car when i get tired.'

'liam.'

'i'm fine.' he shrugs off the hand paul places on his shoulder. 

'you sure?'

'yeah.' liam nods, pulls his jacket tighter around his shoulders. 

paul just nods and holds the door open. there aren't any fans outside so liam starts off down the street. 

the thing is, liam just doesn't get it. he doesn't. 

he's tried really, really hard to get harry to like him. he's done everything right. he found things they have in common, he's taken an interest in things that harry enjoys, even if liam doesn't. he's _always_ nice to him, even when he wants to punch him in the face. he's never been so confused because of a person in his ENTIRE life, and it's not fair. liam hasn't done anything wrong and harry still can't stand him. 

liam thought maybe it was because simon tried to push liam to be the 'front-man'. but now that they're recording and done with the tour - harry has just as many solos as liam. he's featured on just as many songs. if anyone deserves to be andy about the must, it's niall and louis. definitely not harry. 

and then liam thought it was maybe that liam took the 'responsible' role in the band, but that doesn't make sense either because harry is the epitome of _ir_ responsible. so it can't be that either because if liam didn't take control, they wouldn't get anything done. they just wouldn't. and the boys would do things that got them in trouble and it just - it couldn't be that either. 

liam pulls his phone out of his pocket, and thumbs out a quick text to scott. 

_'i'm bi. u shuld proly no tht.'_

that's part of it, too, though. but more on liam's side. it's just that liam has always had to hide so much of himself. he's never been pretty like louis or popular like harry or cool like zayn or carefree like niall. he's never been open or shared or done anything like that. he's always been average and more often than not, less than average. 

everything just seems to have come so easy to the others. they've fallen into this perfect life in a not-so-perfect world. but it seems so easy for them, the way they lay together on the couch after a bad day, and how louis is constantly in their space, and it doesn't seem to bother anybody when harry takes an hour to tell a terrible story or that niall takes food off everyone's plates. 

liam doesn't get it. he just doesn't. he's never really had a lot of friends, and he's definitely never had friends like this. they're so… so…. so _much_. and he thought that if he just kept _trying_ that it would get easier, but it hasn't. it's gotten worse and now harry obviously hates him and it's not fair. 

it's that thought that sort of bring tears to liam's eyes and he scrubs at them without even thinking. he's about four blocks of scott's office building in the heart of london, but the only people he's passed have been adults in business suits and he just _clearly_ doesn't fit in with his lumberjack-flannel shirt and perfectly ripped jeans. 

'liam! liam, wait!' a sep, slow voice calls from behind him. 

liam turns slowly, and _of course_ they're all following him, all four of them. harry's dragging behind, plying louis back with them, and zayn grabs his hand while niall hugs him tightly, and the other two stop much further back. 

'you can't just _do_ that.' zayn is saying when liam starts paying attention again. 'there's like - girls on twitter that have entire alert systems about stalking you, did you know? about stalking all of us.' 

'and their _parents_ help.' niall adds. 'paul's bringing the car 'round in a moment.'

liam just sort of shrugs. 'i'm fine.' 

harry rolls his eyes and liam has to clench the bottom of his shirt to keep himself from hauling off and punching him in the jaw. 

'come on. we're meeting him on the next block.' louis says, ushering harry along. 

'i want to walk.' he whines, pulling away from louis. 

'yeah, I'm fine.' liam adds. 'just need some air. i'll just meet you there.'

'no, like. you can't.' zayn says. 'paul is coming to get us.' 

liam shakes his head, and harry's fighting louis, trying to pull his arms away when it happens. 

liam can see it, it's like - he's always heard people say that things happen in slow motion, but he's never really experienced that before. his life has always just happened at life speed and sometimes it's sped by - like at the x-factor house - but he's never had it slow to movie-drama-slowness before. but it is now. 

it's sort of like it happens in stages. 

they're all on the side of the road and louis is trying to pull harry and zayn is sort of pushing at liam, but niall's standing on the edge of the sidewalk looking up at a window. 

liam's pretty sure he says 'i think i can see people shagging up in that office.', and he's pointing somewhere. 

that's when harry sort of wrenches his arm out of louis' grasp and it's just that harry has these really long, gangly limbs. it's not his fault because he's still growing into things and he's just - he doesn't always have control of them. so he sort of wrenches his arm away, and it flings back and then it sort of just slaps niall in the face. which like - wouldn't be a big deal except niall isn't paying attention, and loses his balance and falls backwards. 

liam can see it happen, as niall tips - backwards and liam is reaching out but - niall's just so far away and it's like he's slipping through his fingertips. but behind him, liam can see one of those stupid double-decker buses, and that - they don't even come to this part of london. this is the _business_ district, but there it is and niall's going to be right in it's path when he hits the ground that's rushing up to meet him. 

and then suddenly he's standing again, there are fingers clenching tightly at the front of niall's shirt attached to a hand that liam doesn't even recognize attached to a person that looks even more unfamiliar, and the entire world is still so sloooooowwwwww. 

'woah, there.' the guys is tall, and sort of old, but he seems friendly enough with his smile. 'you lot need to be careful.'

niall sort of nods, and liam's jaw is still on the underground. harry looks like he just shot a puppy and louis smiles and thanks the guy. 

it's not until the stranger walks away that liam regains the ability to speak. 

'for god's sake, harry. you almost killed niall.' liam spits out. 'you have no consideration for anybody but yourself and i'm so _tired_ of it. i just - grow up.'

harry's face falls and liam's ready to continue when the van pulls up beside them, and paul demands that they climb in. 

zayn pushed liam into the front seat and louis presses harry towards the back, and if paul notices the _terribly awkward_ tension in the car, he doesn't say anything.

~

when the van finally pulls up in front of their complex, liam is the first to jump out and head inside. he doesn't wait for the others, skips the elevator, and takes the stairs two at a time.

he heaves a massive sigh of relief when he finally gets his door open. it smells like fresh coffee, and danielle is standing in the kitchen, one of liam's shirts hanging off her tiny body. 

'hey.' she calls. 'coffee?'

liam just nods as he kicks of his shoes and make his way to her. gently, he presses a kiss to the top of her head and gratefully takes the steaming mug she hands him. 

'how was it?' she asks, settling in at the kitchen table. 

'it was awful.' he admits. 'sometimes i don't know why i do this.'

'because you love to make music.' she pats his hand. 'now what happened?'

'we just were supposed to tell this guy if we've done anything that he should be aware of.'

'did they?'

'they've all got secrets, haven't they?' liam sighs. 

'have you got a secret?' she's teasing, but it makes liam's tummy clench uncomfortably. 

'i mean…'

'oh.' she's suddenly serious. 'have you got one? you can tell me, you know?'

'it's just ….'

'li? you're freaking me out a bit.'

'i'm bisexual.' he says, looking at his hands. 'it's like - it's not a big deal or anything, but you should just - i should have told you _ages_ ago, and i'm sorry.'

'liam.' danielle sighs. 

'i'm so sorry, i know you've got to be furious, but i just - it wasn't important. i'm ridiculously attracted to you and guys are good, too, but you're _perfect_ and i just - i don't want this to be the end because i _love_ you so much, and this doesn't change anything and - '

'liam, it's fine.' danielle interrupts him taking one of his hands in both of hers. 'it's fine.'

liam just looks up at her, eyes wide. 

'what?'

'i mean, i've tried things with girls. it's not my thing, but like - i get it.'

liam heaves a sigh of relief. 

' 's kinda hot, isn't it? the idea of you with like - zayn.' she winks at him, as he groans. 

'i can't stand you right now.' he scrubs at his cheeks. 'but also, i sort of love you.'

'i sort of love you, too.' danielle smiles brightly. 'it's like a thing.'

~

harry goes straight to his room and doesn't answer the door when louis pounds on it, repeatedly. it takes a good fifteen minutes for louis to give up and walk away. 

harry's amazed it takes him that long. 

he'd walk away from himself in a heartbeat if he could.


End file.
